Hey guys,
Right now, Mekhi is fast asleep in his bed; like butter would not melt.
Well well well...
Earlier on, the butter did in fact MELT. Mekhi had a MELTDOWN/TANTRUM whatever you want to call it; it was the biggest one yet!
I can count how many tantrums Mekhi's had on one hand. He cry's yes, but it doesn’t usually escalate into anything further but for some reason today was very different. Mekhi was punching and kicking, jumping out of my hands and everyone watched with judgy eyes.
I always find it interesting how people judge parents in these types of situations. Mekhi sat on his bum, in the street, crying and I kneeled down and was trying to calm him down whilst also giving him space. At this point, a man was looking at me with disgust and even huffed and puffed when he asked what was wrong and I told him my son is having a tantrum. I don't hit Mekhi. I don't shout at Mekhi and I don't take advice from a " I got slapped as a child and I turned out fine" nay-sayer because that's not the type of parenting I practice.
When a toddler is having a tantrum their emotions are all over the place so trying to pick them up or even reason with them can be counter-productive and cause them more distress.
When Mekhi was approaching the age of two everyone reminded me the ‘terrible two’s’ were coming. Mekhi’s behaviour is exactly what I would expect from a 2-year-old. He is loving, enthusiastic, funny and occasionally he doesn’t do what he’s been asked but nothing that I would describe as ‘bad behaviour’. We don’t use the word ‘naughty’ I don’t like branding my child with that word. Whenever Mekhi does something he shouldn’t, I’ll sit him down and ask him why he did it and explain what he can do better next time. Most of the time at this age they simply do things just to see what happens. They’re inquisitive little beings who want to find out more about the world around them.
Anyway, I felt so overwhelmed and then a lady came up to me and offered to pick Mekhi up because people were starting to watch and judge me. I appreciated the help but said "no" because I didn't pick him up for a reason. If I picked him up and he then decided to throw himself back and hurt himself, then what? When he's having a tantrum, the first thing I always do is block everyone out. You can't allow yourself to feel embarrassed or like you need to prove that you have control over your child. I usually wait it out and it lasts no longer than 60 seconds. We were about 3 mins in now and it felt like half an hour! Me and the woman got talking. She had her young daughter with her too and recalled the times she experienced tantrums with her and she stayed with me until Mekhi calmed down completely. Having company. Someone who understands the struggle, as a mother, made such a difference. I thanked her for taking the time to actually talk to me, and we even exchanged numbers.
Tantrums happen. Sometimes they pass quickly and sometimes they really are terrible.